I Had a Stroke…. Now All I Can Do Is Think and Write

I don’t know what to do. On Monday I had a stroke. I’m 40 years old and I had a stroke. What am I supposed to do? I don’t know if this is how everyone feels… but these are the thoughts that keep running through my head:

  • I feel like a California seismologist, I’m just waiting for the “Big One”
  • Phrases like “I’ll get that next time” terrifies me because I don’t know if there will be a next time.
  • I can be fine one minute and then struck with fear and start crying for no reason at any moment.
  • Sometimes I feel like nothing happened, and then I remember… Then I get sad that I’m forever going to be a “survivor”
  • Sometimes I think “I’m not going to let this beat me, I can rise above it and be better than ever” but then I wonder if I really can, I mean physical able to.
  • I felt fine during the stroke and the 2 days in the hospital after, then I have felt like crap. I find that now I get winded and have to stop walking on the way to the car from the train. I feel super wiped out now too. I’m not sure if it’s the stroke after effects or maybe the medication.
  • When the doctors say rest and take it easy, I don’t know what they mean.
  • I know that worrying about what happens next isn’t going to change what might happen in the future… but I still can help it.

Help Pick the Next AF3 Club Charity

I’m starting the planning for next round of the club and can’t make up my mind. Help me pick. The next club will start in July 2016 and run for 6 months. In January 2017, the 2nd place finisher will start, so each charity theme will be helped in the coming years!

THANKS!